#GetItRight

Feeling complicated.

What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough,
And all that you touch tumbles down?

Because my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?
How many times will it take for me to get it right?

Before it becomes a distant fleeting memory...

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Friendship?

I used to be sensitive about "friendship" issues during high school.
I always call people my "classmates", my "schoolmates", or in Japanese, a "知り合い", because I was afraid that everything was just my wishful thinking.
I thought that, over these years I have learnt to treat people right and hold back my feelings before others considered myself their friend.

Well, I was so wrong.

In the second year of university, a friend whom I supported, gave so much advice to, and stayed by her side when others ditch her, she literally called me a stranger because I told her off for something stupid she had done.

In this third year of university, at the age going to be 21, I have made a huge mistake on this "friend" thing again.

When I thought someone as a friend, I screwed it up with a joke I never thought would bring offense to people.

In fact, I still couldn't understand why is it so offensive to them when the things they said to me before were 10 times more offensive.
When I thought someone as a friend, I realized that I wasn't required enough to join their birthday celebration.

Yesterday, I realized that I still am, the 16 year old girl, who knew nothing about "friendship". But I am glad, for I still have some friends whom cherish me back as I do.

Maybe finding friends is like finding the right shoes to fit.
I think I need to learn to let go when shoes won't fit. Despite really liking it, I have to learn to accept the truth.

But for this post, just let me act like a spoiled child.

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